The mentoring process travels along an integrated path using tools and activities. Along with learning how to use these tools and methods, the mentoring couple should also:
- Have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and be willing to share what God has done in and for your marriage.
- Have a sincere desire to help couples build strong Biblical foundations for marriage, whether they are engaged, newly married, or in need of couple support to get them through crisis situations or desiring to enrich their marriage.
- Be available to commit your time and energy to another couple.
- Have a growing marriage, understanding that no marriage is perfect but is healthy, growing in the Word of God.
- Be willing to pray together for your own marriage and then support another couple through prayer.
- Be able to deal with stressful situation of the marriage relationship in a positive way.
Even though the mentoring relationship will have many benefits, it is important to understand what mentoring is not. Mentor couples must understand that:
- They are not counselors.
- Mentoring is coming alongside to encourage and support.
- They cannot fix everything for the couple. Couples can become dependent on their mentors if
they are always getting the answers from them.
- They should not give the impression that theirs is a perfect marriage.
- They cannot correct issues in their own marriage using the mentored couple’s situations.
- Each spouse should not share intimate details of the marriage without their spouse’s consent.
- They must listen empathetically rather than sympathetically. They must spend time listening
rather than talking.
- They should walk the talk. Mentored couples are always watching their mentors as are others.
- They should remain impartial, never favoring either spouse. Mentors should be advocates for the
marriage, not the individuals.
Please understand that mentoring may not be for everyone…some situations can only be helped through professional counseling. It is very important to understand that mentoring is not counseling. It is supporting another couple by coming alongside them, helping them to know God and each other well.